


Someone Else's Rock

by PolarKraken



Category: Trailer Park Boys
Genre: Internal Monologue, M/M, randy working through doubts and love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-21
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-18 14:41:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29610951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PolarKraken/pseuds/PolarKraken
Summary: Randy doing some introspection about love, loyalty, and priorities.
Relationships: Jim Lahey/Randy (Trailer Park Boys)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 7





	Someone Else's Rock

A sharp pain in his chest woke Randy from his dreams. It was a pity, because they had been very nice dreams, filled with cheeseburgers and onion rings and warmth and sunshine. He gurgled annoyed and punched his chest a couple of time.

“Stupid reflux!”

He grumbled, but made sure to stay quiet, to not wake up his fiancé. Thank god he already had a bottle of Pepto-Bismol on his night stand, so he simply grabbed it, unscrewed it and took a good gulp, followed by a content sigh. Man, that stuff worked wonders for his poor esophagus. 

With this shit now sorted, he hurried back under the covers. He was glad that there was someone warm to cuddle up to, even if that someone had caused him more grief than many others. That must just be the price you paid for intimacy and closeness like they had. Randy knew about the hedgehog dilemma, the way you hurt someone else the more you tried to be close to them. If him and Mr Lahey weren’t a perfectly example of this, he didn’t know who was. 

He shuffled around, the pale street light from outside giving him just enough brightness to make out the features of the man next to him. He was squirming around as usual, the liquor leaving its mark on his sleep, so Randy went ahead and put his palm, which was a little sweaty, on his cheek, then stroked backwards through the leftovers of his hair, to gently hold his skull at last. It usually did the trick in calming him down and he could already feel him relaxing. Randy smiled, leaving his hand there, while he observed his lover. He was still muttering, but he nuzzled himself against his touch and instead of random gibberish he could make out his own name here and there. 

Mr Lahey was cute when he was calm like that, especially when it was because of Randy. Not many would agree with him, but that was okay. It just meant their bond was even more special. It would be easy to see how sexy Julian is, how great Ricky’s weed was, how smart Bubbles was, but it took someone unusual to see the good in Mr Lahey. He was sure it wasn’t just shadows of the past he was projecting onto him. Even if he was a crazy drunk, he had proven on more than one occasion how much he was devoted to him. 

And yes, there may be other factors at play for Randy to stay with him than just pure love; stuff he never would’ve thought would affect him like this. He gently brushed through his grey hair, while he kept on late-night-thinking. How crazy was it that he ended up in a relationship like this. It was reassuring on one hand, being secured in this arrangement, but on the other hand he also enjoyed his freedom. It seemed to go against this very desire that he felt this kind of bond with this old man, this mixture of love, affection, obligation and dependence. It could be a bit scary to think about, how reliant Mr Lahey was on him sometimes. He had seen how it goes when he left him to fight on his own and he became properly unhinged, especially with having the additional stress of the boys or Barb tormenting him. 

When he had decided all these years ago to work the street corners, he had sworn himself to stay free of obligations and responsibilities like that. All he wanted to do was to get some truckers to buy him cheeseburgers and give him enough money to keep his shitty little trailer and get some dope here and there. It had worked out for quite a while and he couldn’t even say that he wasn’t happy, but then Jim had caught him one day. It had been the first time he had seen him as Smokey, and while he had most cops wrapped around his finger back then, it wasn’t much different with him. 

It was like he could see how his lover had been back then under all these worry wrinkles right now, which were even prominent in his sleep. He had such a confident aura back then, especially when he was wearing his shades, driving around town in his cruiser. He often drove past Randy’s favorite spots, just to tell him to find another place to offer his services, but slowly and surely these visits would shift into the night and he would be alone in his car. He would notice how the guy would look at him, as there was no reason for his sunglasses at night.   
He knew this look very well; It told of desires long unfulfilled, curiosity, and just straight up arousal. Jim hadn’t struck him as gay, but he definitely had these urges, despite the wedding ring on his finger. Three months after they had first talked, he had gotten into the car with him and Jim had paid him handsomely for a simple blow job in the back seat. As expected, this turned into a regular occurrence, even if they ignored and avoided each other back at the park. It was like they were living a double life and it was kind of exciting. He always treated his regulars well, especially Jim, who quickly became one of his favorites. Maybe he had already caught feelings for him back then, but then Barb happened. 

Nothing was the same again after that, for better or worse. He got off the streets, gave up his own home and traded his cowboy hat for a walkie-talkie, the cash payments and cheeseburgers for a low but livable paycheck. Everything he had tried to avoid he somehow had slipped into, suddenly being so close with someone who had merely been a costumer, someone who he used to show a good time and then do his own thing again. 

And now he was frigging engaged! He never would’ve thought this would happen. People tended to find him attractive, but not really regarded him as boyfriend material, be it girls or guys. So that in itself was a miracle, let alone the fact he had snatched Mr Lahey from Barb’s hands. It left him with conflicting emotions. Sometimes he didn’t know if he was up to the task; dealing with Mr Lahey was hard, even after all these years, all their battles, break ups and get-togethers. He just knew the only times he had ever been content had been with him, even if his worst distresses had been with him or because of him as well. He had learned that loyalty had a price and the amount of love you had for your chosen one determined how much you were willing to pay. He had lost friends because of him, had been assaulted, hadn’t even been able to keep off the streets, even if Mr Lahey had promised to provide for him. 

His hand, clammy as it was, slowly brushed over his bald head and then wandered down over his skinny shoulder, tracing his arm, until he found his hand. He grabbed it gently and squeezed it a bit and watched his fiancé fidget and mumble. Randy leaned forward so their foreheads were touching and he sighed quietly. Why was he doing this, letting himself get pulled into this man’s life? He knew for a fact he probably would’ve drunken himself to death without him. 

What a weird thought that he was someone else’s rock. Him, little old Randy. He didn’t think he would be strong enough for that, but somehow, Mr Lahey gave him that strength, even if it wasn’t strength he wanted to have or wanted to _need_. An easy life, that was on his agenda, and this man made everything complicated. He couldn’t even be friends with most people in the park, because he basically betrayed them. Somehow he felt it was worth it, though and he still hoped they would come around and they could make peace again. 

Friends were important, but so was Mr Lahey and he knew he would be able to convince him to bury the hatchet. If he would be able to do that, and the boys would find it in their hearts to forgive them, maybe they could get a fresh start and then finally, his life could be as relaxed and peaceful as he had always wished. 

In his reminiscing he hadn’t noticed that Mr Lahey had woken up, eyes sleep and liquor drunken, but looking at him adoringly. 

“Randers…”

He mumbled with a smile and Randy felt himself reciprocating it, when he was shuffling closer. He knew what he wanted, so he turned around onto his back, not his favorite position to sleep in, but he would manage. He lifted his arm, just to let Mr Lahey plop down onto his bare chest, his arm swung around his belly, but then he retracted a bit and instead let his hand rest right above his belly button, stroking his skin just the tiniest bit. 

Mr Lahey’s touch always sent little sparks of joy through his entire body and he hurried to pull their blanket up over them to hide his shivers. 

“Love you, bud…”

He mumbled, already drifting off again, and Randy pressed his frail body tighter against his own soft one. 

“I love you too, Mr Lahey.”

He answered calmly and sighed, looking at the ceiling. They still needed to install the mirror up there and he made a mental note to do that tomorrow. Right now though it was pitch black outside and he definitely needed a bit more sleep. Maybe he could find back to his previous dreams again.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on twitter under [@GenteiJanken](https://twitter.com/GenteiJanken)!


End file.
